There she was

"There she was, like a picture.
There she was, she was just the same.
There she was, he just had to know.
Had she had forgot his name"

Past is only meant for the bravest. Was it good, was it bad, when time is the distance, years apart in different path, there the deep void of inevitable longingness.

Past is not meant for the now, it's just not. Did she, was she, would she and thousands questions you feel you just had to know.

"Thinking back to the last time.
On the wall as he turned away.
Turning back, did he even know?
Did he ever hear her say
Ulay, Ulay, Oh?

Trying his best to forget her.
Trying his best to just keep his stride.
Kept his word, but he knows he heard
Ulay, Ulay, Oh"

Damn, Ulay, when you let the time be the distance, that's the furthermost place you won't ever reach again. The Past is the Furthest. You should had turned back. It doesn't matter who's wrong, who's right, when she calls your name, just turn back. But we made same mistake.

This is a song about a couple who separate for 30 years. Ulay, Ulay, Oh are the words she muttered 30 years ago at the Great Wall of China when they took separate ways.

Watch their story here, I won't spoil you, it's a good one.

I can relate to this song, and I damn my self. I had my chance, long time ago, not as long as this story, but 10+ years is a quite a great distance. Sometimes I still wondering, will she smile when she thinks of me.


Star Sky - Two Steps From Hell

Here we are
Riding the sky
Painting the night with sun
You and I, Mirrors of light
Twin flames of fire
Lit in another time and place

I knew your name
I knew your face
Your love and grace
Past and present now embrace
Worlds collide in inner space
Unstoppable, the song we play

 Burn the page for me
 I cannot erase the time of sleep
 I cannot be loved so set me free
 I cannot deliver your love
 Or caress your soul so

 Turn that page for me
 I cannot embrace the touch that you give
 I cannot find solace in your words
 I cannot deliver you your love
 Or caress your soul

Age to age
I feel the call
Memory of future dreams
You and I, riding the sky
Keeping the fire bright
From another time and place

I know your name
I know your face
Your touch and grace
All of time can not erase
What our hearts remember stays
Forever on a song we play

 Burn the page for me
 I cannot erase the time of sleep
 I cannot be loved so set me free
 I cannot deliver your love
 Or caress your soul so

 Turn that page for me
 I cannot embrace the touch that you give
 I cannot find solace in your words
 I cannot deliver you your love
 Or caress your soul


I hope I'll see next Ramadan

Taqaballahu minna waminkum. Another Ramadan passed by. Sacred month for Muslims, also for most of us means getting slowing down month. Not an excuse for getting lazy, it's supposed to be a whole month to get closer to God. I'm not claiming I'm a religious person or a devoted one. I wish I am. That's why I'm hoping to see next Ramadan as a better person. This Ramadan, one of my good friend passed away. A very lively, smart, sharp, confidence sometimes a bit annoying person. He'd been fighting cancer for years. When me and friends saw him in hospital, I can tell that he won't make it for much longer. He's very strong, even in his illness he stayed lively. Farewell my friend.

So like I said, it's been a slow month. I just login to one my windows VPS and it turned out two of my private proxy boxes are dead, fixed them. In fact, this last month I only login to one of my vps, when a friend told me he'd like to learn about Debian, so I gave him one of my lowend box which I only use for VPN which I use rarely. And I had more time in social media lately which gave me some new insights and ideas. So I have plans. But first thing first, got to settle down the projects with my little brother first.

I read more as well and I'm hoping I'll be a better person before next Ramadan. And My mom's going for Hajj this year, how happy I am to be able to make her dream come true, it's the best feeling.  Eid Mubarak 2015!


Lunatic for U.S. President?

People who seeing donald trump as their last resort of hope only happen in a desperate and abnormal society. No matter how you twist, justify him as a savior, the facts remain that he is a dumb douche bag, crazy asshole lunatic.

There are lot more successful, smarter, honest and mentally stable businessmen than him. Just because he is not in the current political mess that doesn't mean he is a better option. It just because he is not YET, when he is in.. well what do you expect from a lunatic? crazy madness.

What have donald trump ever done to US anyway? What is his achievement? Oh, he is a rich billionaire so cannot be bribed LMAO. He bribed his way to success, mind. He is a dirty businessman. Besides, if this thing what really matters, why don't you get Bill Gates to run for president and vote him instead? He is thousands times better person, honest, care, richer, successful than douche bag trump.

Or are you really that desperate? May God help you, Americans.



Lately, I send prayers to Americans, because I start seeing encouraging increasing movements in social media where they start fighting back their real enemies : their greedy politicians and corporates. Hopefully they will soon also understand that this is not about Democrats vs Republicans, but this is about people fight back the evils, some of them Democrats, some of them Republicans. Fight them all back. #peoplefightback

We've been waiting for this for such a long time. Why we, the non-Americans bother? Because your greedy govt. and corporates has been the real enemies for anyone anywhere in this planet: the aggressors, the murderers, the real terrorists of the world. Millions of innocence outside your country have been suffering to death from their greediness. Babies lose their parents, event lose their own heads. Thanks to USA.

Do your due diligence, know your own shits. For just one small example, consider this: The good men and women who served in military for your country which you called Patriots, they go to another country to kill or be killed. They face nightmares first hand but only for a short of time and the nightmares (PTSD) stay with them forever. Do you ever imagine the PTSD of the people in those land or terror, who has no idea why other country come bombing their homeland?

Know this, your "patriots" are selected trained people and only be there in scheduled time, then IMAGINE those who have to live and face the nightmares not by their own choices: the women, children, elders. They have nowhere to go because it is their homeland that your govt turn into killing zones without any justifications, which has nothing to do with your country. Now who are the REAL Patriots and Terrorists?

Fight back, Americans. Stop this madness. Remember who you are, the Land of Freedom, the American Dreams. You used to be the inspirations, don't let those maniacs win. Fight back people. #peoplefightback


Good Bye Stevie. Thank You!

Fuck all those cunts who cannot give proper farewell match for Stevie. Send that big headed lad back to the beach. One way ticket. Ungrateful Coward Cunts. Shame on you bunch of pussies.

Bye Stevie. God bless you. "My hero. My mate" - Xabi Alonso. "My Idol. My Legend" - Reds.


The Memories of IRC

Oh the memories of those days of IRC. Good ol' days. So for the sake of the good times, I setup an IRC bouncer at one of my vps, the old psyBNC. I decided to use vhost (or known as bindhost now), well you know the feels, pretending to be 133T stuff haha, then I need vps which allow rDNS, so I can't use the shitloads of my behind NAT servers. They don't allow it, well what can you expect from $3 a year vps anyway.

And that's why I use psyBNC though I read that ZNC is newer and better, I just need an ultra lighweight bouncer, besides the memory is with psyBNC. Then I pick one of my personal unused domain name, otong.web.id, point A Record to my vps IP making a ridiculous no meaning sub domain name, then let my bnc sit at two channels at dalnet. I don't have intention to chat, like I said, it's just for the memories. ot was here.