Tonight I look back. The truth of the past is true, no matter how we wish it isn't true. But for the sake of peace of mind, sometimes we ease our mind with comforting perspective. Sometimes it makes me wonder how mind can bend reality. It doesn't change the reality at all, it's there, the truth is still there. I know, people believe what they want to believe, but I think no one can deny truth, to live in lies. Maybe.
Once I had a best friend. He was brilliant, one of a kind. I used to understand him. I trusted him till I couldn't. Something bothers me. Not because he still owes me money. Partly, maybe. But, I knew him, we grew up together and I'm not a foolish naive. I've seen the world, dealt with the bad and the ugly. I just can't believe what he has become. Or maybe I don't want to believe, because I DID really know him. I don't understand or maybe I don't want to. Maybe.
But once I did tell him bluntly "careful, you could be a monster". I'm sure you still remember, es hehe.. Long time ago, he used to come then we had long talks, about anything. We were young, he was bright brilliant arrogant, I was just a simple wisefool. Maybe I am still. I think I knew, I wish I knew. I wish I'm not naive. But one thing for sure, I really don't understand. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe I shouldn't care less. Maybe.