People may look up and see the same sky. One might see the signs of weather, tell the time of the day, get approximate direction from it. Other might see bunny like clouds or sea horse mating clouds, so forth. I could be the guy with the weather, time and direction or I could be the guy with the bunny and sea horse clouds. The point of perception is interchangeable all the time, subject and dependent of various changeable variables. Maybe.

Tonight I look back. The truth of the past is true, no matter how we wish it isn't true. But for the sake of peace of mind, sometimes we ease our mind with comforting perspective. Sometimes it makes me wonder how mind can bend reality. It doesn't change the reality at all, it's there, the truth is still there. I know, people believe what they want to believe, but I think no one can deny truth, to live in lies. Maybe.

Once I had a best friend. He was brilliant, one of a kind. I used to understand him. I trusted him till I couldn't. Something bothers me. Not because he still owes me money. Partly, maybe. But, I knew him, we grew up together and I'm not a foolish naive. I've seen the world, dealt with the bad and the ugly. I just can't believe what he has become. Or maybe I don't want to believe, because I DID really know him. I don't understand or maybe I don't want to. Maybe.

But once I did tell him bluntly "careful, you could be a monster". I'm sure you still remember, es hehe.. Long time ago, he used to come then we had long talks, about anything. We were young, he was bright brilliant arrogant, I was just a simple wisefool. Maybe I am still. I think I knew, I wish I knew. I wish I'm not naive. But one thing for sure, I really don't understand. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe I shouldn't care less. Maybe.


A man named Joko

I'm so close to conclusion to not trust anyone who goes by the name of Joko. Now, it is that bad. And he will just smile, a self satisfied smile. I know a man who'd like to smile a lot, a loan shark. Keep smiling while sucking your blood.

I smile a lot too. But I don't smile to make people to like my smile. Joko smiles for the show and a self-worshiping. He thinks his smile will brighten your day. Not because he cares about your day, it just because he thinks his smile is magic. He likes his own smile, not you. All he care is how magical his smile is, not you. He doesn't really like you. He doesn't care about you. He only care about what will you think about him.

I smile a lot too, but I don't fart. Well, I did. But rarely. And gracefully. I keep it to my self, man. My fart is mine and mine only. If it turns out to be hazardous, it will only harm me. And if happen I have hazardous fart, I will plan carefully to only fart around Jennifer Lawrence only. You know, she faint, CPR time. Nothing more. I just want to rescue her. When she's sober, all I'll ask is "Can I have your autograph?". Then handing her my collection of her leaked photos. Nah, maybe not.

But more than anything, I never smile and fart at the same time. By Mar, that will be overly scandalous. What a bloody cunning man you are who could fart and smile at the same time. I despise you man. Stay away from me.

So what with this sole candidate Police Chief scandal, Joko? Do you really think you can fart and get away with that? You'd wish you're still just a small town mayor ain't you? You can fart as you like and go unnoticed. Do you realize what a mess you put yourself into now? You're a limp lame lamb among those big bad wolves. You're a bad puppet, as bad as your puppet-masters.


Why you should read.

The benefits of reading is there for the taking. The results may vary, unique, dependable. Whatever it is, there will be opportunities and options to be taken. We present ourselves opportunities to learn something. We have options of paths which will lead us.

Even when one intentionally neglect the benefits, the (reading) process itself is a good exercise for the brains, neurons sparks festive.

I still have major overdue failures. Words fail my mind. See, we are thinking in words. pause. and if we choose the-not-right words, pause it'll bend our mind, not as exactly as what we meant to. For me, most of time I know, and just let it flows. My perfect imperfections.

Then there's vocabulary cap when there are certain proper words which will serve the purpose better that are still unknown to me. I can feel it, then I have to deal with the limitation.

Sometimes it's so frustrating for not able to speak our neuron level mind. Sparks. Sparks. Taunting, then fading.

My problems could be easily be yours too, if only you're willing to acknowledge it. But before it becomes a problem of Will, we should be able to recognize it first. There won't be a problem unless you can recognize it.

Remember, We are thinking in words. The words which will build our maze of mind. Our maze of mind could be as simple as a two way straight passage. Or if we have abundance experiences with words, it could be a complicated messy mesh with a lot of if-thens, what-ifs, etc,

Is it really matters? This maze of words? Well, the people of stone age, they have no problem with the growls, grunts they speak. Uh ah hu, grawl grwol rawlrwal. Surely, they have no interest to the benefits of words, let alone the delicacy of words. If it suits you, then no problem, stone age buddy.

This very present day, you could still chasing rabbit, barefooted, raw hided with a stick for your today's meal. But God bless you, you won't see it as a problem, because you won't even think about it. You don't have words to even realize it as a problem. Is that what you want?

Most of us are just passengers of civilization. We enjoy the benefits of works from great minds, inventors, thinkers etc. Yes, what we do or not do, most of time it doesn't matter. Our part or role in history is confined and isolated in our tiny extra small dust of story of our own life. But man, at least we can try to be a good passenger, shall we?

And my mind is trailing off again. More indecision weeks to come I reckon, could mean more time to read for me. At least need two three weeks for the sign of confirmation, if there's any. There were times when I was reckless and brave, adrenaline-pumped taking chances. But. Now I'm just. Old.

But dudes, you should read. Feed your mind with the delicacy of words. Read and learn. To live is to learn. Whatever you're becoming of your beauty maze of mind, you're not a wasted brain.


So why should you?

No one really cares. So why should you? Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears.. Sometimes when you're happy, no one sees your smile.. but fart just one time... Nah, it's a bad joke. Fart is not funny, it's gross, but who care, no one, so why should you? I'm not saying you can fart at your will, just because nobody cares. It's still bloody gross, you know.

The thing is what if someone important fart? All the time? Loudly. Clear and sound. What if he is a president. Coincidentally, he is the President of my beloved country. Last year, I had the most longest rambling run because of this fart guy. His fart is horror. And when he won the election? Nightmares, in sequel. Because now, his fart is national wide. His fart will affect so many lives.

And the fact that how could this gross guy win the election only show one truly sad scary nightmare, how many my fellow countrymen and women have been converted to fart brain. Fart is gross, but I keep saying this word, thanks to the fart guy.

And the fact that he keep farting happily ever after is beyond anyone wildest dream. He raised fuel prices to cut the government subsidies only to lower it later just in months. All the price of services and goods already raised when the fuel prices raising and now no one will want to lower their prices just because someone fart, even if he is  a president.

During the election, their farting campaign team kept saying he is clean, well maybe he is, but he farts a lot. There was and still is ongoing huge corruption case which normally will take him down with, but fart brain is contagious, sadly those uninformed clueless desperate my compatriots, they voted him still. They think he is a savior. When he was Solo Mayor, his son acquired suspicious 18 billions rupiahs company share from a corrupt General. He's not that clean

His men already racing to sell government assets. He chose dodgy persons as ministers. Recent case is he try to appoint someone as Indonesia Police Chief, a sole candidate, someone whom being suspected by KPK (Indonesian Corruption Eradication commission). And there are so many amateurish decisions here and there. He does fart a lot ain't he. And it can only getting worse everyday.

At this point, I couldn't care less. But you my fellow countrymen who voted him, you really should. At least from now on, you should realize that when you're stupid enough to realize how stupid you are, learn how to smell a fart. Someone might be looked like clean, but that's not enough. Not only he fart a lot, he also let people around him shat every where. He might be stay clean, but essentially he is NOT. But the most important thing is the fact that he is not capable to be a leader of a nation. We are becoming a fart nation.


Expecting the unexpected.

Interesting time. Shockingly shocking, more precisely. U.S. dollar climbed ultra super duper high against the Swiss franc thanks to the Swiss National Bank's monetary policy statement. USDCHF dove more than 3k freaking points. Ease pass the three and a half year lows like a boss. What a time to be alive.  

Didn't trade the correction. Didn't have the balls for taking chances in the high correlation pair. Too scary, stay balls less, no potential scenario, play dead. All I know what doesn't kill you, might does at 2nd attempt. What doesn't kill you, doesn't make you stronger, they lie, it just doesn't kill you at the first time. Don't push your luck, if there's any left.


Thruth is in the eye of perspectives.

When we grew older, we will have seen things through many tinted glasses. If we're lucky, we would realize that our truth even as clear as it is, still it is not really true. It's only true through our tinted glass. Our truth could be lies for others. We only have our biased truth.

People believes what they want to believe, then consider what they believe as truth. For me, I believe in relativity. Not that great hair genius theory. But relativity as there are no absoluteness in everything, everything is depend on perspectives. I also believe in paradox which I incorporated with the yin yang concept if I may. This because I believe everything will have to reach equilibrium eventually, the balancing re balancing between the opposites.

I'm not saying that we should balancing our truth and lies. But it is there. When our passion subdued, we will seek for patience as redemption. There were times when we only wanted to see through a clear glass. it's tinted but it's clear. We still have edge about right and wrong. But not so many could stand firm as devoted servant of truth. That's the time when we start hiding behind perspectives, that truth is in the eye of perspectives. That is a lie, a sad truth. What more sad than our biased truth is a lie.

But then again, what is exactly what so called truth? The many tinted glasses I wore when I was younger taught me sad truth. That truth is a lie we believe as truth. I don't believe it, but I know it's there. I hard to believe it but it happens. I still try hard to use my relativity and paradox concept to save me from the sad truth. At least I try to. Despite the fact that people has their own tinted glasses but still we should have the same source of truth, our conscience, the last guardian of mankind.

If truth is in the eye of perspectives. Then it will be the time when truth will be a luxury. Become a game of hide and seek. We will negotiate it with our conscience, trying hard not to compromise our norms, ethic, dignity, honors or whatever we value in life. We endanger truth through the endless battles of right and wrong, conflict of interests. In the end of the day, we have to deal with what life meaning to us, what is worth it, the truth or our life if it happen not align with truth.

Nothing lasts forever but changes. But truth should never change. Truth lasts forever, in changes. The right or wrong ideally should consist what truth is. But right or wrong change throughout time, and then so will truth. Well, then it is time for the last resort, our conscience. Truth is not in the eye of perspective but in the heart of conscience. But only if it can escape the perspective. I know it's complicated. I wish life is simple. Or I can see it simpler.


Thank you Stevie.

Gerrrrrrraaaaaaaaaarrrd... You beautyyyyyyyy.....

Legend will leave us at the end of this 2014/2015 season. There's so many things we want to say but it will never be enough to express our feelings and gratitude. Nothing will be enough.

It's been an honor to look up at you as a Hero.

Your magic at the Miracle of Istanbul will be passed on as legacy to any LFC fans and supporters, as bedtime stories, camp fire tales.

A Hero,

A Living Legend.

A true story of modern Hero

I swear, one day, a rough suny weary day, as I walked in a harsh terrain, I looked up to the sky about to collapse when I heard a whisper in the wind which gave me strength to carry on. And it said..

"We Go Again"

Yes, I just made it up, just so you know how much we love Captain Fantastic.

Thank you Stevie. So Much. So. Much.

Oh ya beautyyyyy!!!! What a hit son, what a hittttt!!!!